The Art of Breaking Up
by SonnyChadFan
Summary: I, Chad Dylan Cooper,The Greatest Actor of our generation and possibly the greatest beholder of amazing blonde hair on this earth... Has just been dumped. Yep. You heard me. Dumped.


**Hi Guys. I'm guessing you're all probably waiting to murder me right now for updating but I have severe writers block. =( So I decided to write a one shot. =)**

**Disclaimer:I don't own SWAC.**

**Hope you all enjoy!  
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The Art of Breaking Up**

I, Chad Dylan Cooper, The Greatest Actor of our generation and possibly the greatest beholder of amazing blonde hair on this earth...

Has just been dumped.

Yep.

You heard me. _Dumped._ I won't hurt your ears by saying the horrible word again, that by the way should never be used in the same sentence as Chad Dylan Cooper, unless it's: Chad Dylan Cooper, the greatest actor of our generation has just dumped another girl. Let's use the term... Chumped. A mixture of Chad and dumped.

Do you want to hear the tail of how _I_ of all people got chumped?

...

Do you, do you really?

...

_No?_ Well then I _have_ to tell you. I'll start from the very beginning...

We had been going out for exactly four weeks, _four whole weeks_, and a record that I was very proud of. I beat my old record by three weeks, six days and twelve hours and it was all thanks to that beaming ball of sunshine, the light of my life, except for my hair, Ms Sonny Munroe.

Wait. Let's start from the _beginning_ beginning. I was on a date with another ditzy blonde that I didn't really care for and used to raise my popularity. Eh, I know it seems heartless and bad, but I am after all Chad Dylan Cooper and Chad Dylan Cooper can do what Chad Dylan Cooper wants.

I took her hand, turned on the charm and looked her straight in the eyes. She beamed at me and fluttered her eyelashes. Yeah, she has so got to go.

"Betty-"

"It's Nichola." She interrupted, taking her hand away from mine. I rolled my eyes. Like I actually care.

"Yeah, whatever," I took hold of her hands again as she looked at me with a confused expression on her face. "Betty, _we need to talk_." Her smile suddenly disappeared from her face. I was amazing when it came to breaking up with girls, but hey, I'm amazing at everything I do so it's not really surprising.

"W-what?" She stuttered. It was like she knew what was coming or something.

"This relationship has been great, I mean it lasted for a whole seven hours-"

"A-are you breaking up with me?" She interrupted _again_! God, this girl is so rude! It's a little thing called manners sweetie, might wanna try them out sometime! "W-why?" Tears started forming in her eyes. I felt a little pang inside. I think it was my conscious...nah, I got that taken out years ago.

"Hey...it's not you, it's me." I told Carry. She took her hand back again to get a hankie out of her to start wiping away those tears.

"How can it be you, you're the greatest actor of our generation. You're flawless." I've got to give her credit; at least this girl was honest, unlike a certain ball of sunshine that refuses to believe that I'm simply the best.

"You're right. It's not me, it's you."

"H-how can y-you do this to me?" She was sobbing now. Oh great, this is why I usually do this kinda stuff by text. Crying girls, how to deal with crying girls?

"There, there." I patted her shoulder. That didn't seem to work. She put her head in her hands and sobbed harder. Oh, give me a break. "I know what'll make you stop your crying." I said and took out a hankie.

"What do I need that for?" She asked in between sobs. I rolled my eyes again, wasn't it obvious?

"It's something to remember the great Chad Dylan Cooper by." I stated. She didn't even listen, it's like my beautiful words went through one ear and straight out the other. I groaned, stood up and walked out of the restaurant where it just so happens that other couples were declaring their love for one another.

Oh, god I almost forgot. Silly me. I took out my phone and typed:

_Ur dumped if u ddnt already realise._

_Luv TV's CDC_

And that my loyal fans, is the art of breaking up.

...

Two Days Later

...

"Chad Dylan Cooper, you're unbelievable, you know that!" Right on time. Sonny marched through the Mackenzie Fall's door, jabbering on about jibber jabber.

"Sonny, as much as I would like to take the credit of whatever you're accusing me of, I can't because I didn't do anything." I said. This seemed to make her angrier. If I didn't already mention, Sonny's gorgeous when she's angry, although she has perfected the art of being gorgeous, like moi.

"Chad-" She put her hands on her hips. "You've broken up with every single girl in this entire building!"

"So?" I shrugged.

"So? That's all you can say for yourself? _So_? Chad, these girls are wondering around the studio crying and heartbroken because of you." She exclaimed. Blah, blah, blah. I ignored her and drifted off to blissful sleep.

...

Thirty Five Minutes Later

...

"Chad, are you even listening to me?" Those words woke me up.

"Uh, yeah."

"What did I say?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"You said something about pies and random t-shirts..." I guessed. She looked like she was ready to attack me with a rusty spork, and I've been attacked by them before and believe me, they hurt.

"What sort of pies and what type of random t-shirts?" She asked. Woah was I feeling the pressure here.

"Uh, apple pies and a t-shirt that said _welcome to earth_?" I guessed again. Judging by that glare she's giving me I would say there's a possibility that I was wrong.

"You jerk! I knew you weren't listening. For you information I was talking about rhubarb pies and t-shirts that said _give me a pencil and I'll give you a smile_. You know Chad, one day you're going to get dumped and I hope it hurts!" She marched off again, angrier than when she came in. I just shrugged and ordered a pie.

...

So, my loyal fans, that's how is started.

Next time, when Sonny comes in shouting her head off at me, I'm going to listen because me being chumped has taught me that much. Sonny knows the future and when she says you're going to get chumped and that it's going to hurt, she probably telling the truth.

So ladies and gentlemen, that was the start, now this is the end. Read on and that there's a possibility, if you're lucky, that you might have the privilege to get chumped with a free pat on the back to help dry your tears.

...

Four Weeks Ago

...

My hands were clammy, my heart was beating so fast I swear I thought it was gonna pop out of my chest and was starting to sweat, yes, _sweat_. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I wasn't supposed to be nervous. I wasn't supposed to be feeling these freaky new feelings and I wasn't supposed to be on my way to studio three to ask out Sonny Munroe. I wasn't supposed to be doing these things so I _had_ to do those things. Simple logic.

I knocked on her dressing room door.

Think you heard me wrong?

Well you didn't.

I actually knocked instead of just barging in like always.

What was this girl doing to me?

"Come in!" I heard Sonny's voice call from the other side of the door. I carefully and slowly twisted the door handle.

I had time to backout. I didn't _have_ to ask her, did I? Couldn't I just text her? It would be so much easier. Ugh, I can't do that. Problem is I actually respect and you know...like her. A lot.

"Uh, hey Sonny." I grinned and waved awkwardly. Sonny looked up from her magazine and raised an eyebrow.

"Umm, are you okay Chad?" She asked. Was she worried? Well she should be; I am after all Chad Dylan Cooper, star of the number on tween show.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Why do you ask?"

She grinned. "Well for starters you're not leaning against the door frame like you usually are. In fact, you're just standing there in the middle of the doorway." She stood up and started walking around me, like she was observing me or something. Randoms are so weird.

"No, smirk? No snappy comment? You've been in this room for thirty seconds and you haven't said not one egotistical thing about yourself yet," She finally stopped circling me and faced me instead. "Chad, what's wrong?"

You can do it Chad. Just say the words. Just six little words. Here goes...

"Sonny, will you go out with me?"

I said it.

There. Take that!

Sonny looked surprised. Well, actually more than that, it looked like she was about to drop down.

"Did you just ask me out?"

Play it cool Cooper.

"Umm, no," She didn't seem to believe me. "And it was all a dream." I told her and ran off back to Mackenzie Falls.

...

Five Minutes Later

...

I was drinking a loganberry smoothie to calm my nerves. I just asked Sonny out, then convinced her that it was all a dream. If my name wasn't Chad Dylan Cooper, I would've beat myself up for being such a wimp. I've asked out girls before and it was easy as me having beautiful golden hair everyday but Sonny is so...what's the word...un-ask-outable. I mean, I actually get nervous.

"Chad, you in here?"

Holy mole.

How did she guess I was in my dressing room?

"Uh...Chad no here!" I shouted, using my amazing acting to disguise my voice.

"Chad?" She asked walking up to me. She found me.

"What, are you here to mock me?" I pouted and crossed my arms. Sonny laughed and enveloped me with a hug.

This is too good to be true.

"Chad...you didn't actually give me a chance to respond. Chad Dylan Cooper, the worst actor of our generation and star of the worst tween show in history-" You really have a knack for hurting a guy Sonny. "I will go out with you." She smiled.

Did you hear that?

"Pinch me, I must be dreaming." I said my thoughts aloud. Next thing I know, she pinches me.

"Ouch! What'd you do that for?"

"You said to pinch you. So, I did." She shrugged. I kissed her cheek.

Oh these were the good days.

...

Okay, so that wasn't quite the end, more the middle.

And as you, my loyal fans know. I was chumped.

The impossible had happened.

And this is how it happened.

...

Sonny and I were on a date, at a restaurant where all the couples were declaring their love for eachother. We were at our table full after having our delicious meal.

"Chad, this date was amazing." She grinned. She took my hand and looked straight into my eyes. Huh, she's getting lost in them as usual. "But, I think we need to talk."

Where have I heard those words before?

"About what? My dashingly good looks, my perfect white teeth. My golden l-"

"No," She interrupted. Nothing like that.

Uh Oh. If it's not about me, this won't be good.

"Chad, this whole relationship so far has been great, I've loved every moment of being with you." She said. Aww, she's so cute when she's subconsciously in-a-way complimenting me.

"Thanks."

She sighed and gripped my hand tighter.

"Chad, don't you get what I'm trying to say?" She asked.

"Well, this does seem kinda familiar..."

"Chad...I'm dumping you."

I swear those three words put a sword through my heart. S-she's dumping me? She's dumping _me_?

"Wha- W-why?" I said. Tears were threatening to crawl through my eyes but I blinked them back. Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't cry, except for the stupid prank the randoms pulled when they shaved my hair bald but that was cry worthy. "What d-did I do?" I asked, sniffing.

"Chad, it's not you. It's me."

Oh, where have I heard _that _before.

"Well of course it's not me, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, absolutely flawless." I stated. She nodded sadly.

"Look, Chad, I just need some time to reflect. I'm sorry."

She got up, kissed my cheek, patted my back and left a hankie before leaving the restaurant where other couples were declaring their love for eachother.

I lifted up the hankie. What in the world was I supposed to do with this?

...

And that my loyal fans, is how Chad Dylan Cooper got chumped.

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**Reviews?**

**And did you guys see Falling for the Falls part 2 slideshow? I know it was AWESOME! I can't wait!  
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